Life of Literature ~*

Religion, destiny, chances, soles, forms, thoughts, minds, hearts..all these mysterious things in life makes life difficult to understand but interesting. Is what I got in life the result of my handwork? Is what I got the result of what I strive for? Or it is because of God or destiny? Is everyone on earth made by God? Or from evolution? Why we all look the same, but think and feel so differently? Why are we sometimes good and sometimes evil? I recently talked to a friend. She holds a very extreme religious belief. She criticize Christianity and Catholicity. And she definitely cannot believe that there is a God on top of us controlling everything, and everything, no matter good or bad, is because of god. She believes in destiny though. She just cannot understand it when people say it is god who gives them a challenge when things are bad. But on the other hand say God is helping them and loving them when good things happened. She believe in herself, and her ability. Although her destiny maybe not as good, she has the power to turn things upside down. Then, I started to think about my religion. When I was young, I already question the existence of God, whether he exists in heaven or just in our hearts? Whether there is a need to only have one God and believe in one, or we can have many Gods as long as you believe in one and only one. My religion is somehow rooted in me. Before, I think I was not faithful to God at all, as I always question him. However, I do turn to his help and find comfort and strength when I need to. Compare to my friend, I am faithful. My friend said that the motto behind Christianity is that if you don't believe, you die. I hope it is not true because it is ridiculous. I believe, as I always do, that God is just a motivation to keep us strong, keep us from doing wrong. Humans are weak and needed a force to help. This universal force is called religion. But you can see, some people do not believe in God, and they are good. I am guessing because they are independent and strong enough to be faithful in one's conscience. This way, they will not do something to harm because this make them uncomfortable.
Destiny? Gift? 文章本天成，妙手偶得之 - this may explain the secret of life. Literally, it means that a good piece of writing or art is always here, just that occasionally a talented person finally has a chance to express it in his own way. Well, I think life is the same way. The beauty of life just lie in front of you every day, you just need an attitude to experience it. No matter the attitude is from religion or from yourself, or from a friend you have because of a chance. If you have that attitude, you experience life. Not all people can acquire this attitude, and I don't know whether to depend on God or yourself, or both for it. But once you get it, it is heaven.
妙手也只能偶然有好作品，不妙的手，更難了 - yes. Attitude is what counts. If you face an obstacle and started self pitying and not keep moving forward, well then congratulations! You will be stick in this bad situation probably for a long time. If you just know how to criticize and not look at the good side of people, you will be living a horrible life. From this you can see that a good attitude may not always lead you to the beauty in life. (Because lets face it, if life is always good and beautiful, and without obstacles, then you will not find it valuable.) But a bad attitude is even worse. A simple praise is what it takes. I learned it now, no matter it is true or not, a little praise makes the world great. And you have heard of a smile is a curve that straightens everything right? So, smile and praise!*

ALL WE NEED ARE A CHANCES, given by GOD. (our destiny)

What is MY life?

I am so damn hot right now. And so damn mad. You can probably tell from my language. Yet, not until I took sociology had I realized that language actually means nothing. They are just symbols. People and their culture give language and words meaning. Didn't Juliet say roses will be as pretty and smell as good if not call roses? Everything we say, we do, we value actually means nothing if the world is about to end. If there s no people in the world. Then, the existence of human seems to be really important. Now we have another question. A philosophical question: How can you tell that you exist? Who are you? Where are you from? Why are you here? We have difficulties to answer these questions for many years, even centuries. If the existence of human beings are the only thing that makes things meaningful and we cannot proof the existence of human being for centuries, won't it makes everything we do for years meaningless? That's exactly what I feel now. I don't know what exactly are the things I value most. I don't know what I am fighting for and where I am going. But I need to continue living, and keep moving on.
Someone says I think therefore I am. What if the person cannot think (say like a vegetable), but he has a physical form on earth. Does he exist? What exactly are the elements that cause you to exist? Your appearance? Your name? Your physical form? Your identity? Your family? Well, unfortunately everything in the world can change. If you don't have a name, a family, an identity, and you have a cosmetic surgery to change your appearance, and you lost your memory (this is just an example), will you stop existing? I am not sure but I think the answer is no.
Now, I feel like lost again. I am just like a piece of dust on earth. So small. But struggling so hard for sth. Nothing. Hoping someone will notice what I am doing. Hoping to influence the world. Hoping to express my feelings through words, words that maybe are meaningless. Well, I don't care as long as I get the meaning. What am I doing everything for? Studying at DC? Holding program? Reading books? Talking to people? Everyday I am gaining some experiences that I do not know when will they be useful. Everyday I am fighting for sth that will be easily lost if I am no longer living. The purpose to live is pursuit of happiness. I can agree with that. But people also tell me, to get happiness, you need to first experience sad. To get happiness, you need to work and strive for it. To get happiness, you will be unhappy. And in the end, maybe before you can get any of the happiness you deserved, you already died.
This is a bit exaggerating. I know God will not be that unfair. The world is always full of surprises. And God will help you out. If you really do your best, you will be happy. Not because of the materialize things you get, but because of the process. School life has been so hectic that is making me crazy, but then God really give me his hand and pull me out of the trap. Things are more smooth now. And still I am looking for my meaning to live. But then who cares. For the moment, just assume it is to contribute your strength and work at the best of your ability to help people in need. Just be a saint for now and forget who you are. Leave behind all your pain and move forward. Harvest will come before you know it=)

Be thankful~ friends :)

Life is tough.

Thanks for the support of my friends.

Thanks Strawberry Chocolate babe. I miss you, I need you, I love you. I wanna hug you.
Thanks the son of music.
Thanks Tale babe.
Thanks for Kelvin's crasy behavior. I need this.
Thanks May, Christy, Prima..for playing poker.
Thanks Everyone who actually talked to me and made me laugh.
I am blessed.

Being a CA isn't that easy...

A friend told me to update my diary. And I wanted to a long time ago, just that I don't have time for it. Today is the day which I finally have an hour to sit in front of my computer, chatting on msn, surfing the internet. Silly, but fun! Life is full of priorities. There are probably a million things that you would like to do in your life but don't have the time for it. You got to choose what is the most meaningful things to do. It is tough coz the most meaningful thing may not be the most interesting thing that you would life to do. What can I say? A meaningful life is always difficult to lead. I appeared to choose being a CA as one of the things I would love to do in my life. At the beginning, I was totally exhausted and I regretted to have taken this tiring job. However, I am starting to get use to all this stuff, and actually find it quite fun. Yesterday, we checked in new students and I need to also held a floor meeting, to explain the rules and tell them about our dorm and stuff. I SURVIVED MY FIRST FLOOR MEETING. AND I AM INCREDIBLY PROUD OF MYSELF. I AM HAPPY. And for the first time i noticed why I wanna be a CA that much. It is because of the attention people gave you. Suddenly you are a leader, a hero. In my life, I was not exactly a very outstanding person. I am quite shy and quiet, wanting to be alone sometimes but can deal with it if I need to social with people. In high school, I was always secretary or treasurer. But never monitor. I was always an assistant, not a leader. As time goes on, I only know how to listen to instructions and commands. But I cannot do things on my own without directions or instructions. Being a CA is a totally different story. No instructions anymore as I am the boss. I am the one who plan for meetings, activities, programs. I am the one people look up to and listen to. This morning Shannon in room 207 came to me as she and her roommate locked out. I helped to call public safety as they are in bath robes. But I cannot find Carrie. I was again proud of my problem solving skills. At least it was a good start. Thank god for lending me his power. Let me be calm always. I am looking forward to my first duty day. And I am sure there will be sth for me to solve.